If resting makes you anxious and slowing down feels like failure, you’re not alone.

Many of us learned, quietly and early, that our worth was tied to how much we could do. When productivity becomes identity, slowing down can feel unsafe, even when we’re exhausted. This piece explores burnout, “formerly gifted kid” dynamics, and why you are enough without producing.

To be known is to be loved—but being seen can feel far riskier. A reflection on non-binary identity, gender boxes, and the freedom of being witnessed without being reduced.

Over the last few months I’ve struggled to decide whether I wanted to add anything to the very public and politicized discourse on transness, our existence, and our rights. Even now, I have doubts – what could I even say that hasn’t already been said? Is it right to take up space when people are being ruthlessly abducted and deported, when hospitals are being bombed in an ongoing genocide, when the climate crisis threatens the sustainability of any life here? 

If anyone is reading this, then clearly I’ve decided to go ahead and write this. Because silence and withdrawal don’t do anything for anyone. Because making myself small while having the privileges I have would make me complicit with the anti-trans agenda that denies our existence. And, because if this reaches even one person in a meaningful way, then it’s worth it.

“A win is a win. That's a major win. And in the family group chat, I saw that you sent a picture of him, which was so cute. He did. He took a selfie. Yeah, because last time we were talking about how your dad is afraid to vote or he was really uncomfortable at the polls.”
“Yeah. He feels like he doesn't know enough and he would always say his vote never made a difference. So he told my older sister, even if it doesn't make a difference, I have to try. And we all just crying. Oh yeah, it was a big day for the family and I mean, yeah, he did it. So out of everything we got something”.

For queer POC, it’s hard to find places that feel affirming and safe, and the act of finding a safe space can be daunting and sometimes makes staying at home seem more appealing. Ideally, having multiple safe environments we can engage in increases the resources around us. In collecting secure places, we are able to be genuine and authentic without holding back. Read for a few tips on how to navigate new spaces and find those that are safe.

Finding a therapist can be a daunting journey, and our initial attempt towards a safe bet might be to google “therapists that share my identities”. But is that enough? Click here for tips on how to find a like-cultured and like-minded therapist.