What if The Ultimatum isn’t really testing relationships at all? A PACT couples therapist looks at the Netflix dating show through the lens of nervous system regulation, relationship safety, rupture and repair. And what happens when manufactured relationship stress crosses the line into real harm.

Lily Allen’s new album West End Girl has sparked fresh conversations about what it really takes to open a relationship with care. Consensual non-monogamy isn’t about pressure or freedom from responsibility—it’s about communication, honesty, and emotional steadiness. This piece explores the key questions couples should ask themselves before considering CNM, and how to navigate the complexities with intention.

This element of secure functioning can be a bit provocative at first. “You expect me to put my relationship first?? Even above my family? My children?? My job?” Simply put, yes. Putting the relationship first doesn’t mean foregoing all other priorities, but it does mean that for both partners to feel truly stable, they must know—and more importantly, feel—that their partner prioritizes caring for their relationship above other tasks (including substances, hobbies, and, for many of us, those pesky iPhones).

What I have noticed in my years of practice, is that far too many couples wait too long before sitting down with a professional to care for their relationship. Many of us assume that we should be able to figure it out on our own (this is, of course, part of our pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps culture). Yet the quality of our relationships is one of the most important predictors of a happy life. So the goal of this blog post is to dispel your fears about starting to prioritize your relationships by telling you exactly what you can expect when you sit down with one of the PACT therapists at Kindman & Co.

Research shows that individuals with a secure attachment style tend to have greater emotional well-being and more intimacy and trust in their relationships. But what about those who have struggled with attachment trauma and insecure attachment in their past? This is where earned secure attachment comes into play. By understanding the context that has shaped your attachment style, you can work towards developing a secure foundation for your relationships moving forward.

In relationships, misalignment of communication styles, boundaries, and values leads to more disagreements, isolation, an uneven sharing of workload, feeling dismissed, and an overall lack of attunement to your partner(s.) Read on for essential questions from a Couple Therapist to ask your partner to help you navigate holiday celebrations and family visits while staying emotionally connected.

Relationship issues can be so triggering — it’s biology, we are wired for connection so the possibility of coming apart makes things feel real scary — and that makes it rife for analysis paralysis. Let’s take a minute to look at some myths and misconceptions I’ve heard as a therapist, and hopefully make the specter of relationship therapy a little less scary.

We get asked a lot here at Kindman & Co. if insurance benefits will cover relationship or couples therapy. The short answer is: probably not, and we’re not happy about it. From the perspective of insurance companies, problems in your relationship are not considered issues that impact your overall health to a degree that necessitates they pay for medical treatment. We disagree! Read more about our stance that couples therapy should be covered, too.

If you’re curious about couple therapy and how it might help your relationship, don’t wait until your relationship is on the brink. Read on for more information about how couples therapy is helpful preventatively and that now is the time to try it out!

Is anyone else feeling like their partnership is all over the place right now? As a couple therapist I can comfortably proclaim: partners are not meant to spend all of their time together. There is also opportunity during this time to learn more about what hasn't been working and where to start to make changes. Read on for more!

Being in an intimate relationship is one of the most challenging and rewarding of all of the experiences of being a human. Love relationships are the subject of countless novels, songs and movies. Yet, we are all taught to be worried about being codependent or losing our independence within a partnership. Interdependence is essential for healthy, successful relationships, here's where to start!