When someone we love is grieving, most of us freeze. We're not taught how to help, and our discomfort gets in the way. This post offers practical, compassionate ways to show up—without relying on worn-out phrases or emotional guesswork.

We worked together on and off for the next three years. Though I’m not sure she would have identified as a relational therapist, I never had to guess what she was thinking. Linda didn’t beat around the bush. If she had a question, she asked it. If she had an opinion, she shared it. She openly identified as a feminist, a supporter of creative Judaism, and progressive politics. That gave me permission to bring those parts of myself into the room, too.

Without saying the words, she made it clear I could feel everything, on no timeline but my own. A typical session often included some tears and a bellyache from laughing. With Linda, I learned to drop the script—what I thought others expected of me, what I expected of myself. And in return, I let myself feel the full impact of her care. She told me she was proud of how much I’d grown and that she believed I was a true addition to the field of social work. Because of our work, I was able to believe her.

Being with those who are grieving is one of the most powerless feelings…If you haven’t experienced loss yourself (or even if you have!), it can be hard to know how to support others who are grieving their own losses. Read on for tips on how to support a loved one who’s navigating loss.