On Job loss, Identity & Coping Strategies
I love working with folks in identity development because there are so many different forms of identity—formation, transition, and renegotiating. For example, when working with folks going through break ups, I like to encourage them to remember that this specific transition time allows you to figure out who you are as an individual and return to the foundational needs and parts of you that you had left while in the relationship. It’s a reintroduction to your friend groups and spending time with other loved ones. It all links back to identity—what do you like to do by yourself?
the emotional impact of job loss
In this same way, job loss can really mess with your sense of self. This blog will discuss why job loss is so impactful, how job loss connects back to identity, and approaches to try to help you re-engage with your emotional and relational self after losing a job. In our current American culture, our job is a standard measure of value and worth. Western American society is a culture that highly values jobs, status, income, and often ignores one’s deeper sense of self. Judging ourselves, or following the narrative of should and shouldn't, does not allow us to feel our feelings and allow for processing the grief and impact on identity that occurs during these transition times.
In a circumstance where you’re navigating losing your job, are laid off, or have to retire unexpectedly, you can lose the stability you’ve previously felt around your identity. Jobs can create routine, offer support systems, and help us to create community with people who share goals and values. As a therapist who specializes in life transitions and grief & loss, I have witnessed the sadness and lasting emotional impacts of clients suddenly losing a job. When job loss occurs, there’s a grieving of self that requires care and tenderness.
strategies to help cope with a recent job loss
So, I want to share with you approaches to help you re-engage with your emotional and relational selves following a job loss:
Shared values: Reflect on values your workplace held that you admire or felt connected to. You then can pull from these values and creatively integrate them into your daily life. For example, if you valued the humor shared at a workplace, you might want to see a comedy show or get lunch with a friend who makes you laugh.
Building a support system: Jobs can help to create a support system in a contained environment, but these relationships often do not extend out into one’s personal life. Meeting up with coworkers, in a different setting, can help you to build community and find comfort in relationships.
Intentional reflection: In dropping deeper to our emotional selves, we are able to gain insight and awareness on our emotional needs and desires. Creative ways of processing and reflecting on emotions could be: journaling takeaways and accomplishments or creating a scrapbook of memories and photos with coworkers.
Reevaluating priorities: When you are deeply invested in your job, this can lead to an imbalance in attention given to other responsibilities and dimensions of yourself. Perhaps your job has taken you away from volunteering, seeking adventure, spontaneity, movement of our body, or time with our social network. It can be useful to pause and consider what your job has taken you away from and then you can intentionally recommit to those pieces of yourself that have been lost.
Look for models of change: An admirable model of resiliency and tolerance for change can be pulled from the LGBT community. This community has modeled ways to remain curious about ‘self.’ Assess what feels authentic to ‘self’ and dare to move closer to that version of “self.”
If you’re looking for help navigating a recent job loss or retirement or other forms of grief and loss, our skilled team of therapists can help you with grief therapy and therapy for life transitions. Don’t do it alone—reach out today.
Dani Marrufo is Latinx, lesbian woman who is passionate about supporting Latinx, BIPOC, and LGBTQIA+ folks. She is constantly navigating the intersections of my queer identity & religion/spirituality and very excited about helping poly and queer-identified partners to feel more secure in their relationships, communicate effectively and compassionately, and bridge any relevant cultural differences to have increased curiosity and enjoyment in their partnership.
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