On Therapists’ Reactions to Euphoria
*If you have not finished season 2 yet, stop here!! We’ve got some major spoilers ahead.*
In a time where TV show options are overwhelming, it takes *something* for a show to be popular. Euphoria seems to have *it.* It’s provocative, chaotic, sexy, full of drama and feels; it is akin to a car crash dressed in an extensive eye makeup look—we just cannot look away. A few of us therapists here at Kindman & Co. are part of this group of humans who cannot look away, and this blog will explore themes present in the show that are important to myself (Caitlin), Gaby, and Anna. I will discuss how sexuality is presented through the character of Kat; Gaby will explore how the lens of socioeconomic status, oppression and privilege impacts the characters of Euphoria; while Anna will take on how grief is portrayed in this show. Join us as the Kindman & Co. therapists take on Euphoria!
power and confidence through sexuality
Caitlin here – Kat has a fantastic character arc in season one. She turned an initially embarrassing incident, in which an unconsensual sex tape of her went online, into her opportunity to become a “cam girl.” This progression was fascinating for the audience because we were allowed to see a fat woman (the only fat character in this show) have confidence in herself and find power in her sexuality.
She dresses in latex, leather, corsets, chokers, dark eye makeup and red lips at school (Euphoria High notoriously does not have a dress code,) and we see how Kat’s “fake it until you make it” attitude regarding her sexuality allows for some authentic confidence to exude from her. She is in charge of the attention she gets now, rather than the negative attention she had when she was the “meek, virgin friend.”
kat’s exploration of sexuality in relationships
It is interesting to me that Kat is not allowed to be fully sexual though—her change in clothing leads to her friends commenting that she is acting “mean,” and her insecurities around trusting boys her own age to like all of her evokes barriers to being in secure relationships. Her confidence becomes performance art, a type of dominance-play for herself. Her exploration in sexuality allows her power and control while her 16-year-old typically-developmental self is feeling out of control.
We see this out of control feeling spiral in season two, as Kat is in a seemingly perfect relationship with Ethan, has decided to quit being a cam girl, and is having a major identity crisis. Her relationship to herself was built on the projection of who men wanted her to be, and her inner critic does not believe that she deserves her secure relationship with Ethan.
Kat’s power was in her outward confidence and ability to “not give a fuck”, while inside, there is a girl who does not know how to love herself in an online world of toxic positivity. Unfortunately, Kat was not given the time she deserved in season two, but apparently this season is all about emotional realism rather than actual reality. So here’s to hoping we see more of Kat’s actual growth as an integrated sexual being in season three…
the effects of privilege & oppression shown in euphoria
Gaby here! Let’s talk about the harsh realities that are shown in Euphoria, especially when we contrast characters in different environments. We have the epitome of privilege in Nate Jacobs, your white, 16-year old cis, upper middle class boy that is way too hot to be in high school (but that’s show biz baby!), all the way to Ashtray, a preteen boy who’s learned to fend for himself and his family by *literally* all means necessary.
We could write a whole damn essay on each character and the way that the show portrays their own privilege and oppression, but I feel especially passionate about the way that the show so perfectly shows stark differences in the final episode of dealing with conflict. We see multiple (beautiful and haunting) scenes with Nate driving down a dreamy highway completely intoxicated, having loaded weapons with him when turning in his father to the police, threatening Maddie with a loaded weapon, (and many others!), yet being seen as a “good kid” to law enforcement.
ash vs nate with law enforcement
Meanwhile, we see a heartbreaking scene (that seems to be happening in the same night) with Ash. Ashtray is terrified of losing Fezco, his only parental figure/family left, and does what he thinks is absolutely necessary at the moment–killing another person before they take Fezco away from him. Fezco is continuously yelling that there is a child in the bathroom shooting when SWAT arrives at their home. We are left with an absolutely horrifying scene of Ash and Fez’s pure terror when we are about to witness Ash be shot, despite the fact that he has stopped shooting.
We can’t help but wonder how the scene may have played out if the SWAT team were to open the door and see Nate Jacobs with a gun in his hand rather than Ashtray…
Euphoria does an excellent job at reminding us that life is complicated.
No person is all good, and not even the worst characters are all bad. However, we can’t (and we shouldn’t!) deny the role that oppression and privilege play in it all.
navigating grief and loss
Anna here – Euphoria is a dark show. While some of this comes from the HBO-classic-black-label-warning-ultra-graphic violence, sex, drugs, I think that a lot of the true, deep, underlying darkness comes from grief. In some sense, the show is an exploration of the ways that, unaddressed, grief can tear apart a life.
Nearly everyone in Euphoria is grieving something they’ve lost. Rue and Gia and their mom are grieving their dad. Lexi is grieving her dad and her friendship with Rue. Cassie is grieving her dad, Maddie and—presumably at the end of season 2—Nate. Jules and Elliot are grieving their relationships with Rue. Ali is grieving his relationship with his daughters. Kat is grieving time spent oppressed by culture and fatphobia. Nate is grieving who he wanted his father to be. Nate’s mother is grieving her husband. Cal is grieving his long lost love and the years he spent disconnected from his authentic sexuality. Maddy is grieving her friendship with Cassie. Fez is grieving his grandmother, and now, we can only imagine, for Ash.
Along with the diversity of grief, we see people in all of the stages of loss:
Denial (Nate, Cassie)
Anger (Nate, Maddie)
Bargaining (Cassie),
Depression (Kat, Jules)
Acceptance (Rue’s mom)
Meaning making (Lexi, Elliot).
We see Rue go through every stage.
So, what I started watching for in Euphoria, was what everyone is doing with their grief—are they processing, avoiding, using coping patterns that serve them or don’t?
coping with grief
It all makes sense from the perspective of grief. Rue’s substance use—an escape to elsewhere, a disconnection from the pain. Cassie throwing herself into a relationship that defines and tidies her life. Lexi’s processing through the creation of meaning through narrative. Nate’s blinding rage and struggle to integrate his own masculinity. Ash’s fierce defense of his only parental figure.
Loss is such a fundamental human experience. It’s unavoidable. We lose—things, people, dreams, hope, relationships, parents. It’s what we do with the pain, and how we make meaning of ourselves and our loss, that impacts our trajectory.
We’ll have to see how all these characters manage it, and what kinds of repair they’re able to find with each other.
euphoria shows us parts of ourselves
As you can see, Euphoria is doing exactly what good media attempts to do—allowing us an artistic view in which we can see parts of ourselves on the screen. We, (myself, Gaby, and Anna) are impacted by the characters of this show and the choices that they make because we are rooting for them to grow and to love and to evolve, in all the messy ways that humans do. We hope you enjoyed our processing of a few parts of this show—let us know which show the team should take on next!
Caitlin Harrison is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, social justice advocate, and a feminist. She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. Caitlin is a sex positive therapist with a special interest in the integration of sexuality and spirituality, women’s empowerment, and eradicating narratives of guilt and shame. She is passionate about working with couples because every partnership can be deepened, stretched, and more pleasure-forward.
Utilizing the relationship between client and therapist, Caitlin embodies hospitality and humor in her work which allows an inclusive and collaborative space to share all of life’s ups, downs, and in betweens. Overall, her work is focused on ensuring that you feel safe coming home to yourself. Caitlin feels at home with a cup of coffee in her hand, a bouquet of flowers nearby, and music at the ready to dance to.
Gaby Teresa is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Latina/mixed raced, social justice-oriented, and exceptionally curious. She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. She is passionate about supporting undocumented immigrants, Latinx, & BIPOC folks to explore and unpack the harms of systemic oppression & white supremacy and move towards individual and collective healing from racial trauma.
From a Health at Every Size perspective, Gaby challenges fat phobic narratives and helps people adopt amore loving relationships with their bodies by promoting body diversity and dismantling the “thin ideal.”Overall, Gaby is proud to be another messy human walking alongside you, helping you to build tools and relationships that better support you and ensure that you get your relational needs met.
Anna Kim is an Associate Clinical Social Worker, a writer, and an adventurer. Anna works with individuals, intimate relationships, families, and groups to support growth and change. She is especially interested in grief & loss, identity & authenticity, and attachment, but appreciates all the infinite, complicated parts of being alive.
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