On How the TV Show “Sex Education” Showed Me to Be Proud of My Faith
I am a huge fan of the Netflix show, Sex Education. The cast is phenomenal, the writing feels so authentic, and the topics that they tackle are raw and real. And they’re British! Like most Americans, I love a good accent. This blog is a fan response specially about how they’ve chosen to represent religion and faith, and how it has impacted me, a Christian who is also trying to figure out how to claim her faith when the religious institution is full of hate, bigotry, and vitriol for so many people I love. Spoilers for Season 4 ahead!
Having watched all four seasons of Sex Education, it has been such a joy to see the character arc of Eric Effiong (played by Ncuti Gatwa), how he has always held tension around his queer identity in regards to how he has to navigate his Nigerian familial culture and their collective Christianity. Eric has always been unapologetically gay and flamboyant with his friends, and even at home, but season four captures the difficulty for him to be accepted and whole at church.
One particularly touching scene shows Eric confiding in his new friend, Abbi (played by trans actress, Anthony Lexa) about how he is making a difficult decision about whether or not to be baptized in the church. These two friends are sitting across from each other, having very authentic conversations about their desires for and appreciation of the church, relationships with God, and what this looks like as queer people. And then, Abbi asks Eric if he would like to pray with her. It was very moving, because it felt so accessible. I can’t remember when I’ve seen representation of someone, especially someone queer, wanting to be a part of the Christian faith in a way that felt realistic and endearing.
If you grew up similarly to how I did, I’m sure you can recall a lot of cheesy, poorly-produced shows and movies about white, straight, high schoolers being the outcasts of their friend groups because they “chose God instead of earthly desires.” But here, there were two real teenagers (well, I think both actors are in their 30s, but regardless), sharing their desires to be accepted by the church—not by their friends. Eric and Abbi had many friends, but it was their churches (those places that preach “love your neighbor as yourself”) that could not accept them.
Then, there is the climactic scene where Eric decides to be baptized, but not before establishing something to the congregation. He stands and says:
““My name is Eric Effiong. And I’m a Christian. And a proud gay man,” he said. “And I love myself too much to not tell my truth. So, if you love me as I am, I will be baptized, but if you don’t, then I must leave.”
After a very pregnant pause, it is only his mother that stands up and says: “I love you as you are, my son,” she says. But his mother is the only one that stands up. And so, Eric leaves the church with his head held high.
In the last episode of the season, Eric shares with his best friend that he has decided to become a pastor. I became emotional watching that scene because I resonated with how incredible it was to see such an authentic and beautiful representation of a Black queer man also choose faith and religion, and not being afraid of making his faith his own. It felt like Eric was able to show up in radical self-love, and choose to embrace all of the parts of himself, instead of cutting off parts that feel messy, complex, and unaccepted in certain groups.
As the brutal Israeli/Palestinian crisis and genocide in Palestine heightens, I have been grappling even more with what I have been told as a child, and what I have to still deconstruct for my own faith. It has been shocking to me how naïve and unaware I have been of the impact of white Christian nationalism, this time appearing as Zionism. I didn’t realize until family members reached out to me, how pro-Israel rhetoric appeared to be *very important* to “our” faith practice.
I could share with you all about the obvious hypocrisy of maintaining the rigid beliefs of needing to be 100% supportive of Israel (“because the Bible says so,”) while thousands of people and children are dying and being injured, and Islamophobia and Xenophobia is spreading at rapid rates (because doesn’t the Bible also teach “love your neighbor as yourself”??). And let me be explicitly clear—I do not support Israel blindly. I support humanity and I support liberation. I support the call for a ceasefire.
And, I am brought back to the importance of being able to make your faith your own. I struggle with being able to be confident in saying, “I identify as a Christian.” I typically give a lot of caveats when I say that. Something like, “No, not the way that your parents are” or “Well, I go to an affirming church.” I am trying to embrace what I believe, which is: I can hold multitudes, and the God that I believe in is affirming and justice-oriented, which makes way for me to be so as well.
This is why stories and representation is so important—it has helped me consider more about my own relationship to my faith. I am so grateful for Eric and how he proclaims his faith, as a proud part of himself. In doing so, it becomes something that gets to be expressed, evolved, and celebrated.
Caitlin Harrison is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, social justice advocate, and a feminist. She works with individuals, intimate relationships, and families. Caitlin is a sex positive therapist with a special interest in the integration of sexuality and spirituality, women’s empowerment, and eradicating narratives of guilt and shame. She is passionate about working with couples because every partnership can be deepened, stretched, and more pleasure-forward.
Utilizing the relationship between client and therapist, Caitlin embodies hospitality and humor in her work which allows an inclusive and collaborative space to share all of life’s ups, downs, and in betweens. Overall, her work is focused on ensuring that you feel safe coming home to yourself. Caitlin feels at home with a cup of coffee in her hand, a bouquet of flowers nearby, and music at the ready to dance to.
GET HELP NOW
If you are interested in therapy with Kindman & Co. and would like to learn more about the services we have to help you, follow these quick & easy steps:
Schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation with our Care Coordinator.
Get matched with the therapist who’s right for you.
Start feeling more supported and fulfilled in your life and relationships!
THERAPY SERVICES AT KINDMAN & CO.
We are here for your diverse counseling needs. Our team of Los Angeles therapists provide lgbtqia+ affirmative therapy, couples therapy & premarital counseling, grief & loss counseling, group therapy, and more. We have specialists in trauma, women's issues, depression & anxiety, substance use, mindfulness & embodiment, and support for creatives. For therapists and practice owners, we also provide consultation and supervision services! We look forward to welcoming you for therapy in Highland Park, Los Angeles and online.